Love potion n°9

God. I feel like such a stupid and naive little girl right now.
You know, the guy I told you about? The total gentleman?
Well, turns out he's just like every other guy.
We got a bit drunk, finally kissed. Went a bit too far, blablabla.
So, nothing wrong with that, I thought.
But then, last Tuesday, he was all like: oh well I'm not ready for a new relationship and blablabla it scares me blablabla.
I was like, okay, I can understand. No pressure, we're not labeling anything and we just take it slow, see where this gets us.
Apparently nowhere. He just kinda named it 'friends with benefits'.
I feel like total crap. Have, ever since he said that. I saw him the day after, that Wednesday. It was like nothing had happened, but still...
Since then he barely talks to me anymore.
God, it's just like every time. He got in my pants and now he's moving on and I'm left here with this mess.
I could've handled all that, if only he had told me this from the beginning.
'Honey, I'm not interested in you, I just wanna do you and move on.'
I could've handled that just fine. But this, this is just mean. Being all gentleman and handsome and romantic and cute, making me fall for him and then saying that it's just fwb. I can't handle that.
What am I gonna do now? I cant stop this, I know myself. Im not strong enough for that... God, every time.
I thought he was gonna be a good one. He was even my lucky number! That should have fucking meant something. But it clearly didnt...
Pfff. I'm sorry I'm blurting it all out, I just needed to get it off my chest.